I am Made of You
by Shanarama
Summary: Qui-Gon has a vision about Anakin, and is certain the boy is the Chosen One. However, he and Obi-Wan fear that Anakin will not fulfill his destiny on his own...So they step in to help fate along. Title inspired by Alice Cooper's "I am Made of You."
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

It wasn't the frigid cold that kept Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn away from sleep the night on Tatooine. He almost enjoyed the atmosphere of the harsh world, simply for being a relatively backwater planet away from the chaos of society. The planet was full of outlaws and criminals, and Qui-Gon found it was easy to blend in and not be noticed in such a place. The atmosphere didn't bother him; the drastic temperatures didn't bother him.

What bothered him was a boy.

Qui-Gon had stumbled across Tatooine completely by accident, looking to repair a Nubian royal starship that carried himself, his padawan learner, the queen of Naboo, and her assembly. In light of the chaos forming on the world of Naboo and probably the rest of the galaxy with the vile Trade Federation, something simple as landing for repairs had almost been seen as a lighthearted blessing.

Getting parts to repair the ship would not be easy, and Qui-Gon was okay with that; he knew his mission to take the queen to the capital, Coruscant, was important, but he feared war was imminent, and returning to Coruscant would just be signaling the flag that the war could begin.

The journey was being held up by a particularly stubborn junk dealer who had (honestly) pointed out that he was the only one who could provide the necessary parts, and he would not accept simple Republic credits. He wanted something "more real."

Qui-Gon was left with no alternative but to somehow get his hands on money that the Toydarian junk dealer would accept.

That was when the boy had come into his life.

Lying awake had done no good for Qui-Gon, so instead he moved to stand looking out a window of the hovel the boy and his mother lived in. Tatooine was cloudless, so it was easy to look at the stars. Instead, Qui-Gon closed his eyes and meditated. All he could see again was the boy's face, his shaggy blond hair falling into his eyes, his look of fierce determination whenever one tried to challenge him.

There was something about the boy, and Qui-Gon didn't dare speak it out loud. Not yet, at least.

In his entire life, Qui-Gon had never come across a being so sensitive to the Force. This boy, who was nothing but a nine-year-old slave on Tatooine with absolutely no training, was more sensitive than Master Yoda. The thought was almost incomprehensible.

Qui-Gon had almost been sad when he realized the boy would never stand a chance at expanding his powers and becoming a Jedi Knight. The Jedi Order only accepted children as infants, and occasionally as toddlers, if they were not discovered until that age. But this boy, this Anakin Skywalker, was nearly ten years old. He didn't have a chance, despite his dreams and ambitions.

After the boy had graciously invited Qui-Gon, handmaiden Padmé, the Gungan Jar Jar and their astrodroid R2-D2 into his home and out of a sandstorm, he had begun chattering non-stop about himself, the planet, or pretty much anything he could talk about. Qui-Gon had found the boy amusing at first, chuckling to himself at the innocence of youth. But then young Anakin had begun bragging about his most special ability: being the only human ever to be able to compete in a podrace.

The next day, when Anakin had begun preparing for a race that would bring money to the Jedi and his friends, Qui-Gon began to observe closely. Not many Jedi children had the opportunity to compete in one of these podraces, but he supposed for a Force-sensitive child it wouldn't be too difficult. Anakin's mother, Shmi, was worried, of course. She fretted and doted just as any mother should. It was quite apparent that her son was all she had in the galaxy.

Qui-Gon eventually worked up the nerve to ask her about the boy's father. Something hit him deeply when he learned that Anakin had been born without a father, conceived as a mystery to Shmi.

It made Qui-Gon think of a prophecy he had heard long, long ago.

He wasn't a man to jump to conclusions, and he certainly didn't want to take such a big leap of faith on a boy that he had just met. But the fact of the matter was Anakin was extraordinary, and Qui-Gon could almost see the energy and power radiating off of the boy when he closed his eyes. Surreptitiously, Qui-Gon had checked Anakin's midi-chlorian count that night, and it had been off the charts.

According to the boy's blood, he could be more powerful than Master Yoda. The thought was enough to make Qui-Gon's head spin.

Standing in deep meditation, hands clasped behind his back, Qui-Gon let his eyes close and his mind creep out past the walls of the slave quarters. He knew if he went far enough, he could touch the mind of his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. The boy was extremely skeptical when it came to such matters, and Qui-Gon was aware he would never get Obi-Wan on board with this "Chosen One" idea unless it received approval from the entire Jedi Council. But Obi-Wan's skepticism didn't change the fact that he was still the being that Qui-Gon trusted most in the universe. His insight was still valuable and interesting, whether it would actually effect Qui-Gon's decision regarding Anakin or not.

The Force was calm this time of night, and Qui-Gon could see little pinpricks of light hovering around wisps of darkness, simulating the life on Tatooine better than human eyes ever could. Tatooine was not alive at night, at least not like other cities. The only life radiated from sheltered homes that protected their residents from the freezing temperatures resulted in the desert after the twin suns had set.

So calm, and so peaceful. Then Qui-Gon felt himself dropping to his knees.

Colors flashed in his mind so suddenly and violently that he didn't have time to call out, or to even process that he was having some sort of vision. The vision hit him with such force he felt as if he were in physical pain. Colors swirled around every crevasse in his mind, making no sense and only finding order when words were suddenly being spoken as if from loud speakers from within Qui-Gon's mind.

_"You are right," _it whispered, then rose louder.

_"You are right! The boy is a key factor in bringing balance to the Force. Only the son of Skywalker can restore the balance. Through light and dark, dark and light, the son of Skywalker is the chosen one." _

The vision released Qui-Gon as quickly and as violently as it had first taken hold. He lie on the floor of the hut, panting, exhausted, and heart racing. His normally calm mind could focus on nothing as his eyes darted around the room, searching for some sort of answer to the mental attack he had just endured.

Soft footsteps in the doorway caught his attention, and he snapped back to alertness, picking himself off the floor to see Padmé the handmaiden looking on him with concern. She was all of fourteen years old, tiny and delicate, and dressed in a modest nightgown that Shmi had graciously provided for her. Sometimes she looked like an adult, wise beyond her years. Now she looked like a child, compassionate and dying to help in any way she could.

Qui-Gon thought she must serve the queen well.

"Are you alright Master Jinn?" she asked softly, letting her hand rest on the door's frame, but not actually entering the room. Qui-Gon sensed the she was afraid… afraid that he had suffered something ill and she would not be able to help.

Well, she was mostly right.

"I am alright, thank you," he said, still slightly breathless. He stood up straighter, fiddled on his belt until he removed a comlink.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I need to contact my padawan."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Had you told me this an hour ago, I would not have believed you," Obi-Wan Kenobi whispered into his comlink, fearful of waking the others on the Naboo vessel. He had already given Captain Panaka a scare with his thrashing about only moments before, but he had assured the captain that it was just some dream that the Jedi had suffered, nothing more.

Of course, he was lying… but the captain didn't expect lies from a Jedi. He returned to his designated sleeping area and left Obi-Wan to sneak away with his comlink.

"I think I saw a similar vision," Obi-Wan whispered, holding the comlink close to his lips.

"Tell me what you saw," Qui-Gon's voice urged over the static.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, remembering all the details. "There were colors, a lot of colors," he began.

"Yes, I saw that too."

"There were especially a lot of reds and orange… it kind of reminded me of fire," he continued.

Qui-Gon paused for a moment. "I hadn't noticed that, but I think you're right," he said softly. "Go on with what you heard."

"Not much that I made sense of. Something about the 'son of Skywalker.' Is that the boy you found?" he asked. "His name is Skywalker?"

"Yes," Qui-Gon murmured. "Anakin Skywalker."

There was a pause for a moment, when all that could be heard on either end of the comlink was static.

"We need to take him to the council," Obi-Wan said finally, regaining his old composure.

"I knew you were going to saw that," Qui-Gon said wearily, sighing. Obi-Wan could imagine him running a hand across his beard now, trying to plot ways to get out of involving a council that could easily tell him his thoughts were misled.

"Well, what else do you suggest we do?" Obi-Wan asked, frustrated by the lack of immediate answer. He remembered his master's lecture on patience, but at the moment he really didn't care if he was patient or not, just as long as the matter got resolved quickly.

"No, no, I agree with you," Qui-Gon said, sounding aged. "I'm just afraid they'll turn the boy away. But maybe if we can bring him to them, they'll see what I can see here."

"I thought you said he was a slave," Obi-Wan asked, confused.

"He is."

"Master, no. If the will of the Force is for this boy to bring balance, he'll find his own way out of there. We just need to tell the council so we can watch him."

"And what if it's the will of the Force to free him?" Qui-Gon asked, testily. "We've both been granted this vision for a reason, Obi-Wan… I think we should use it to the best of our abilities."

This time, Obi-Wan sighed and wrapped his Jedi cloak tighter around his body. "I have a bad feeling about this," he mumbled.

"You always have a bad feeling about everything," Qui-Gon pointed out.

"And at least sixty percent of the time I'm right," Obi-Wan retorted, smiling despite their situation. "But I trust your judgment, Master. I may not always agree with you… but I trust your judgment."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said sincerely. "Now, as soon as this podrace is over tomorrow afternoon, I'll be back with the boy."

"How do you plan on freeing him?"

"I'll figure that out in the morning," Qui-Gon said. "For now, I am going back to meditate more. I think the handmaiden is disturbed that she found me after the vision earlier, and she just wants me to go back to sleep."

"Panaka was acting the same around me," Obi-Wan said, casting a glance over his shoulder. "Just get back here quickly so we can fix the ship and be gone. There's something I don't like about this place."

"Good night, Obi-Wan."

"Good night, Master."

The next morning, before Anakin's podrace, Qui-Gon went ahead of the group to speak with Watto, the owner of the Skywalkers. He entered with the confidence of a Jedi—knowing that he had the power and knowledge to free a poor slave boy from this life and launch him into his destiny.

The Jedi prohibit betting of any sort, but Qui-Gon was noted for disregarding many of the numerous rules of the Jedi. Casually entering a conversation about betting with Watto, Qui-Gon put forth his offer of racing pod to win the boy and his mother if Watto lost. Intrigued, and set on winning the bet, Watto accepted.

The race was terrifying to watch, but Qui-Gon never let his faith waver for a second, knowing that whatever it was that was so special about this boy would prevail. It was almost as if he were testing the Force, asking that if Anakin really was the Chosen One, he would win the race. If not, then Qui-Gon would take that answer and leave Tatooine forever.

And if nothing else, he desperately hoped the boy won simply because Qui-Gon had grown attached to him in the few days they had known each other already. Attachment was also forbidden to the Jedi, but Qui-Gon acknowledged that it wasn't a possessive attachment—instead, it was more of a certain feeling that their destinies were intertwined.

There were no sudden signs, no magic revelations or anything of the sort to indicated to Qui-Gon the Force's will other than Anakin winning the podrace. But as soon as the boy crossed the finish line in one piece, Qui-Gon allowed himself a satisfied smile, taking that as his answer that he was doing the right thing. He and Obi-Wan would deliver the Chosen One to the Jedi Temple, and then they would watch over him, helping him grow to meet his destiny.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"You swindled me," Watto accused the moment Qui-Gon appeared in his sight after the race. His little blue wings beat furiously with his temper, and Qui-Gon had to fight himself from smiling again. He couldn't tell if it was because the sight of the Toydarian was amusing, or if he was just still pleased with the outcome of Anakin's race.

"Whenever you gamble, my friend, you eventually lose," Qui-Gon said sympathetically. "Bring the parts to the main hanger. I'll come by your shop later so you can release the boy and his mother."

"You can't have them," Watto grumbled, eyes downcast. "It wasn't a fair bet."

Qui-Gon's attitude faltered for a just a moment, but he quickly regained composure, standing tall over the Toydarian. Watto flew back a few wing beats.

"Would you like to take this up with the Hutts?" Qui-Gon asked menacingly. "I'm sure they'd be happy to settle this." Almost on cue, he could hear Jabba's voice above the rest of the crowd outside in the arena. It was a faint noise, but Watto seemed to hear it, too. He looked ready to protest, struggling to find the right words.

"Just the boy," Qui-Gon offered. "Since you've lost so much today already." Though he knew it would crush both of the Skywalkers, there would be no place for Shmi among the Jedi, and Anakin would have to learn to give up his attachments anyway. This would probably be the best solution for all involved.

Defeated, Watto seemed to sink lower in the air. "Take him."

Smiling and bowing politely, Qui-Gon left the Toydarian alone with his losses.

Obi-Wan was surprised to see Qui-Gon arrive at the ship with replacement parts, but no boy. Though he knew the authenticity of the vision, his stomach still leapt a little when he realized they might be able to avoid this whole complicated mess. But he hid those feelings deep down, and greeted his master with respect.

"I'll have to return to get the boy," Qui-Gon said as if sensing Obi-Wan's question. "But the ship can be fixed in the meantime, and then we can get out of here."

"About time," Obi-Wan agreed, taking the parts from Qui-Gon and returning to the ship. He only looked over his shoulder once to see his master already turned around and headed back to wherever he had discovered the supposed Chosen One.

"Mom, he sold the pod!" Anakin announced gleefully, running ahead of Qui-Gon and back into the slave quarters. "Look at all the money we have!"

"My goodness, that's wonderful!" Shmi said, shocked. It pained Qui-Gon momentarily to think of the good and bad news he was about to deliver, but he retained his Jedi stature as he entered the hovel behind Anakin.

"And Anakin has been freed," Qui-Gon announced, looking down at the boy as his face contorted into an expression of shock. "You're no longer a slave."

"Now you can make your dreams come true, Ani!" Shmi exclaimed with tears in her eyes. She then turned to Qui-Gon. "Will you take him with you? Is he to become a Jedi?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "Our meeting was not a coincidence. Nothing happens by accident. You are strong with the Force, but you may not be accepted by the Council."

"I want to go," Anakin said firmly. He already looked older than his nine years, Qui-Gon realized.

"Then pack your things," Qui-Gon said. "We haven't much time."

Anakin grinned and then turned to run to his room. He stopped in the doorway, seeming to realize something, and Qui-Gon knew he was about to deliver the bad news.

"What about Mom?" Anakin asked. "Is she free, too? You're coming, aren't you Mom?"

"I tried to free your mother, Ani, but Watto wouldn't have it," Qui-Gon said sadly.

Shmi slipped down out of the chair she had been sitting in, and knelt before her son. She took his hands in hers. "Son, my place is here. My future is here. It is time for you to let go...to let go of me. I cannot go with you."

Now there were tears running down Anakin's face. "I want to stay with you. I don't want things to change."

"You can't stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting," Shmi told him, smoothing back his hair. "Listen to your feelings, Ani; you know what's right."

He nodded sadly, and then moved to his bedroom to collect his belongings. Qui-Gon watched the scene from a corner, and waited for Anakin to return.

Qui-Gon kept to himself while the Skywalkers said their goodbyes. Every time he doubted what he was doing, the vision would flash into his mind again, and all he would hear was "the son of Skywalker."

Well, now he had the son of Shmi Skywalker. The next step was to get him to the Jedi Council and make him a real Jedi.

The night Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had shared their vision on Tatooine, they had thought they were the only two beings in the galaxy to know about the power of the son of Skywalker. Neither of them could have begun to think that there was a man somewhere on Coruscant suffering from the same vision.

Neither Qui-Gon nor Obi-Wan would have ever dreamed, either, that this man was a dark Lord of the Sith.

The Sith were supposed to be extinct. The Force was still out of balance, of course; any Force-sensitive being could feel that. But the Sith were supposed to have been extinct for a millennium.

Darth Sidious liked to think himself the exception to that rule.

Sidious had seen the vision of the son of Skywalker as well, and it had intrigued him greatly. He automatically recognized the name Skywalker from a failed experience with his late master, Darth Plagueis. They had tried to create a human being entirely out of midi-chlorians by manipulating the Force. It hadn't worked at the time, when they had been on Tatooine. Shortly before their failed experiment they had run into a young human female, a slave who had been screamed at by her owner at the time. She had been addressed simply as "Skywalker."

Sidious felt a sick smile creep onto his face as he realized the truth: their experiment _had _worked… just not in the way they had intended. Rather than creating a human out of thin air, the midi-chlorians had nested themselves inside the womb of a slave woman to create what appeared to be the most Force-sensitive human being ever.

Supposedly this boy would bring balance to the Force. Sidious smiled to himself. Obviously this boy would be capable of mass genocide if he were to destroy all of the Jedi.

Sidious had to find the boy, and he had to find him now. He had an apprentice, Darth Maul, who was willing to do his bidding. That very night, Sidious had contacted Maul and ordered him to Tatooine. His mission was to find and return the slave boy called Skywalker, who would be approximately ten years old. While he was at it, he could locate the queen's ship that had slipped away from the Trade Federation's grasp, which couldn't be too far away from the area. From what he had learned of reports from the Viceroy Nute Gunray, the ship had been damaged, and wouldn't have made it far without some sort of repairs.

Plan upon plan was coming into focus.

Sidious had assured his apprentice that the time was close. Soon they would have their revenge on the Jedi.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The Jedi had taught Qui-Gon to trust his instincts, often without reason. That was what he was doing now as he ran through the desert, the queen's ship in view. He could hear Anakin chasing after him, struggling to keep up with Qui-Gon's long strides, but something told the man that they couldn't stop. Suddenly he felt a wave of emotion come over him, and he stopped and spun around.

"Anakin, drop!" he ordered. The boy obeyed immediately, and a black speeder bike flew over him carrying what looked like a creature straight out of a nightmare. Qui-Gon recognized it to be a Zabrak, but there were black stripes that covered his blood-red skin and laced around the horns on the top of his head.

In a second Qui-Gon had taken his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it, and the Zabrak took out a red one of his own to clash against the Jedi. Already winded by the run, Qui-Gon had to struggle to find an energy source for this particular fight. The Zabrak warrior was as fierce as his appearance, and a very worthy opponent.

"Ani, get to the ship! Take off! Go!" Qui-Gon yelled over the hum of the lightsabers. Looking both terrified and awed, Anakin ran, his small voice heard above the noise as he ran up the entry ramp.

The fighting was wearing Qui-Gon down, and he desperately hoped that at least the boy would tell Obi-Wan of his plight and he could receive back-up. Suddenly the ship started moving, and it swept low toward the fight between Qui-Gon and the Zabrak. He leapt onto the still extended entry ramp, and raced into the ship, luckily not followed. He collapsed on the floor.

"Are you all right?" Anakin asked anxiously.

"I think so," Qui-Gon panted. "That was a surprise I won't soon forget."

Concerned for his master, Obi-Wan peered closer. "What was it?" he asked.

"I don't know," Qui-Gon admitted. "But he was well trained in the Jedi arts. My guess is he was after the Queen." He and Obi-Wan shared a knowing look, one that conveyed their biggest fear. They both looked to Anakin.

If he was to bring balance to the Force… did that mean there had to be Sith for him to destroy?

"Do you think he'll follow us?" Anakin asked anxiously.

"We'll be safe enough once we're in hyperspace," Qui-Gon assured him. "But I have no doubt he knows our destination." There was sadness in Qui-Gon's voice. The boy was so young and so innocent… up until now his biggest adventure in life had been winning a podrace on a backwater planet. Now he was on his way to fulfill his destiny, and hardly a second had passed.

The Force's ways still mystified Qui-Gon after all his decades of being a Jedi.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," Qui-Gon said, remembered formalities. "I'd like you to meet Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin's eyes widened. "_You're _a Jedi too! Pleased to meet you!"

Padmé could not sleep on the ship. She was too restless. Though only a select few around her knew her secret, the rest of the ship was completely unaware that she carried the weight of a world on her shoulders.

The world of Naboo.

Because she, disguised as the handmaiden Padmé Naberrie was actually Queen Amidala of Naboo.

There was a lot on her mind at the moment.

She wandered about the ship, and her attention was caught by a huddled figure in the corner, shivering and clearly upset. Poor little Anakin appeared to be crying.

"Are you alright?" she asked him softly, moving over to be near the boy.

"It's very cold," he answered her, shivering to demonstrate. She nodded, and moved to fetch him a blanket. She had never approved of getting Anakin involved in their affairs in the first place. The boy wasn't even ten years old, and he was now being taken away from his mother and put in a very dangerous situation along with the Jedi and her Naboo assembly. She could only pray that he would stay safe until they could get him to the Jedi Temple.

Padmé knew the life of a Jedi was also dangerous, but it would give him a bigger purpose than the life of a slave had ever given him on Tatooine.

It still outraged her to know that there was slavery in the galaxy. She desperately wanted to do something… but she didn't know what there was to do.

She returned with Anakin's blanket.

"You're from a warm planet, Ani," she said softly, setting her other thoughts aside. "Too warm for my taste. Space is cold."

Anakin gave her one of his looks. It was as if he were peering into her very soul, her very being. She shivered. Even she could sense his power, and she had no Force sensitivity whatsoever. Qui-Gon had not been mistaken when he said there was something special about him.

"You seem sad," he said, turning his head slightly. She lowered her eyes.

"The Queen is worried," she said quietly. "Her people are suffering, dying. She must convince the Senate to intervene, or I'm not sure what will happen."

Anakin seemed to consider this for a moment, his nine years of wisdom working hard in his brain. When he seemed unable to come up with a comforting answer for her, he reached into his pocket.

"I'm not sure what's going to happen to me," he said sadly. "And I don't know if I'll ever see you again. I made this for you, so you'd remember me. I carved it out of a japor snippet. It will bring you good fortune."

Padmé took the charm, studying it for a moment and then placed it around her neck. She smiled at Anakin.

"It's beautiful, but I don't need this to remember you," she assured him. "Many things will change when we reach the capital, Ani. My caring for you will always remain."

She could tell her words made him happy, but then his smile faded again.

"I care for you, too," he said, stumbling a little over the words. "Only I miss…"

"You miss your mother," she finished softly for him. He nodded. Padmé watched him cry for a moment, and then leaned forward to hug him.

Even after she left Anakin to try and sleep, she wrapped her hand around the pendant on her neck. There was something special about Anakin Skywalker… she couldn't deny that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Anakin was still sad about leaving his mother, and his intuitive nature told him his feelings would never disappear. It was a crushing sort of sadness, one that he felt could devour his entire being if he allowed it to do so. His emotions could be so strong sometimes, so intense…but if he were to be a Jedi, he simply couldn't allow such an internal destruction to happen. Not yet, anyway. Maybe someday later, when he was in complete private without fear of being discovered by those who may be his masters in the future.

_Master… _he thought the word to himself, and pondered its new meaning. He had belonged to masters all his life, but this time he was free. The word "master" was good now, and was almost interchangeable with "teacher" rather than "owner" as it had been in the past. His eyes caught sight of Qui-Gon's padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, walking in the older man's shadow, a few paces behind. Anakin frowned slightly at the sight, but then returned his thoughts to the here and now, just as Qui-Gon had instructed him.

They were walking off of their ship, now entering the new and shiny world of Coruscant. Quite simply, Anakin was wonderstruck. After living on Tatooine his entire life, he had grown accustomed to seeing only cities intermixed with sand and the low lives that reflected the scum of the galaxy. He supposed in his wildest dreams he had imagined a city like Coruscant, but the reality was so much better and _bigger _than he even thought possible. There was no city on Coruscant, because the entire _planet _was a city. The entire planet!

He smiled, remembering that he had told Qui-Gon that he planned on visiting every place in the galaxy. Well, it seemed as if he could now cross Coruscant off of his list. But now he was being ushered along to follow the rest of their group as they made their way toward new transports. Apparently they weren't quite done traveling yet.

Anakin turned to look over his shoulder, and realized that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were now behind him a few paces. His thoughts had distracted him from noticing the absence of the two men, and now he caught Qui-Gon's eye, trying to gauge if he were to remain with the queen and her escorts or follow the Jedi. Qui-Gon waved him on, and though Anakin was curious, he didn't question the man's decision. Qui-Gon still wanted to make him a Jedi. Maybe the timing just wasn't right yet.

Instead he followed the queen, Padmé, Jar Jar and the others. Anakin let his thoughts begin to wander again as they settled into their new transports, and he was caught between watching two sights; he wanted to stare at the beauty of Coruscant around him, but his eyes kept drifting back toward Padmé. He didn't know how much longer he would be around the girl, but he didn't really want to waste any of their time together. He was sure he could look at Padmé all day and never get bored.

When he had first met her, he has asked her if she was an angel. He felt a little foolish for the comment now, realizing that it probably made him look like a silly little boy to her. But he _wasn't _a silly little boy! And somehow, deep inside his heart, he knew that he would marry Padmé one day. He had told her so himself. Maybe it was Jedi intuition. He wondered if Master Qui-Gon had a wife. He would ask the older man later, as well as about his intuition about Padmé.

But for now, she was the queen's handmaiden, and they were both just children anyway, really. He was almost ten, and Padmé was…well, he didn't actually know how old Padmé was, but either way he was going to marry her and it was going to be beautiful.

He let his mind wander back to the cityscape for a moment. Maybe he and Padmé could live on Coruscant together…

Just as the happy thoughts of Padmé and his future life had saved him, they were ripped away and replaced once again with the crushing sadness.

After hours of waiting on the queen and other politicians with Jar Jar, Anakin had grown restless. Finally it seemed that everyone was stopping for a break, and Anakin hoped he could find Padmé and talk to her again. But Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had reappeared, informing him that he was now to come to the Jedi Temple to be tested. He had burst into a bundle of nerves and excitement, and had just about followed the Jedi out of the building when he remembered something. He hadn't said goodbye to Padmé.

Anakin had rushed back into the building upon Qui-Gon's reluctant agreement, and he had frantically raced around until he found the queen. Acting as professional and polite as possible, he asked her where he could find Padmé. But it was too late. She was out running errands, and he was now to go back with the Jedi.

Just like that, their goodbyes were forgotten. Deep inside, he knew he would see her again one day, but it was mixed with uncertainty and sadness. The queen said some comforting words in her regal monotone, but it did nothing to make him feel better. Then all he could think about was how everyone he cared about was leaving his life. First his mother, now Padmé… it was hard for Anakin to bury his feelings after that.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan could sense that he was upset, but he brushed it off as nerves. He knew they could sense he was lying, but he didn't care. He still wanted to ask Qui-Gon if he had ever been in love, and if he had a wife, but now was not the time. Besides, Anakin didn't feel comfortable speaking about such matters in front of padawan Kenobi anyway.

Now he stood, surrounded by members of the Jedi council. To say he was intimidated was a bit of an understatement, but he tried to be brave. He passed all of their tests easily, and gained confidence as they moved along, until they started asking about his life and his feelings. Was it really so bad to miss his mother? Was it really so bad to have the emotions that the entirety of the council seemed to lack? And was it really that bad to be afraid?

Everyone was afraid sometimes, right?

He certainly was afraid now. He tried desperately to hide it, but he figured it was almost a hopeless attempt in a room full of powerful and skilled Jedi. Though he didn't like their seeming contempt for him, he was still enamored with the idea of becoming one of them. These were _Jedi. _He could think of no better idol. His mind still buzzed with the idea until his ears finally caught up with the conversation around him.

"No," Master Mace Windu said solemnly. "He will not be trained."

In that instant, the crushing sadness came back. Only now it was a thousand times more devastating. Suddenly his eyes were very hot and he was very aware of everyone in the room watching him.

"No?" Qui-Gon asked incredulously. Anakin could almost feel the shock roll off of the other man, just as he could sometimes feel fear in others. Other than Qui-Gon's shock, he himself wasn't feeling much of anything. He was numb. He didn't even listen to the rest of the heated conversation.

At some point Qui-Gon rested his hands on Anakin's shoulders, and he was led out of the council chamber. Anakin watched where his feet were moving, but he didn't think much of where they were going. He still felt so…empty. No, the crushing sadness filled the emptiness. But no, he was hollow, nothing.

Too much.

There was just too much.

So he shut down and let Qui-Gon lead him, like a ship on autopilot. What did it matter? His life was always being controlled by others anyway. He might as well just shut down and go along for the ride.


	6. Chapter 6

"The boy is dangerous. They all sense it, why can't you?" Paces ahead of Anakin, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were engaged in a heated argument over the youth. It was all he could do to keep from hanging his head in shame as he walked. Now, more than ever, he missed his mother. She would welcome him home with open arms, holding him and telling him how great he was, even if no one else believed a word she said. At least with her he could feel good for a little while.

Here, not only was he unwanted, but he was apparently "dangerous."

"His fate is uncertain, not dangerous," Qui-Gon argued, moving a few paces ahead of his padawan. They were on a landing platform, waiting to meet the queen and her ensemble to escort them back to Naboo.

"The Council will decide Anakin's future; that should be enough for you," Qui-Gon finished, leaving no room for discussion. "Now get on board."

Obi-Wan did as he was told, and Anakin slowly caught up with Qui-Gon, face starting to burn as thoughts formed into words on his lips. The older man looked down on him and for a moment Anakin wondered if he was pitied.

He decided he really didn't want to know.

"Master Qui-Gon, sir, I do not wish to be a problem," he said in a small voice. He was working up the courage to suggest the unthinkable—that he was too weak to be a Jedi and he should go home after their journey to Naboo. He knew the disappointment on the Jedi's face would be unbearable, but if he could just get the words out…

"You won't be, Ani," Qui-Gon assured the boy, cutting him off. "I'm not allowed to train you, so I want you to watch me and be mindful...always remember, your focus determines your reality. Stay close to me and you will be safe."

Anakin bit his lip. Was following a Jedi but never learning to become one really a decent substitute? The request on his heart died away for the moment, and he allowed himself to consider such a fate. Qui-Gon studied the boy, as if he knew what was yet to come out of his mouth.

Anakin realized this would be the perfect moment to ask his question about marriage to Master Qui-Gon. But glancing behind the man, he saw the queen and the others approaching, and he didn't want to risk anybody overhearing. Especially not Padmé, who had finally rejoined the ensemble.

Qui-Gon looked at him expectantly, and Anakin realized he had just swallowed up the only question he had planned to ask. If Qui-Gon were to be even a fake master, Anakin didn't want to make a fool out of himself in front of the Jedi.

"Master, sir...I've been wondering...what are midi-chlorians?" Anakin asked, thinking quickly.

Qui-Gon nodded, accepting the question. Anakin sighed with relief. _Play the part of the student, _he reminded himself. _Do what you have to do to survive. _

"Midi-chlorians are a microscopic life form that reside within all living cells and communicates with the Force," Qui-Gon answered, suddenly sounding even wiser than usual. But for all his wisdom, Anakin found himself caught off guard and more confused than he had expected to be.

"They live inside of me?" He asked doubtfully. If he concentrated really hard, he could hear the beating of his own heart. But as far as he was concerned the only thing alive inside of him…was himself.

"In your cells," Qui-Gon corrected. "We are symbionts with the midi-chlorians."

"Symbionts?"

"Life forms living together for mutual advantage. Without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They continually speak to you, telling you the will of the Force." The older man smiled at him kindly. "When you learn to quiet your mind, you will hear them speaking to you."

Again, Anakin thought of his beating heart and what he felt in moments in the dead of night when all was quiet, even his thoughts.

"I don't understand," he said sadly, feeling like he had failed another test of the Jedi. But Qui-Gon simply smiled at him again and patted him lightly on the shoulder.

"With time and training Ani, you will," he assured the boy, standing up from his crouch and leaving Anakin alone again.

The boy looked to the group, watching Qui-Gon and the others. He wondered if they would notice if he was gone.

He entered the ship without the others and didn't bother to hear if anybody asked after him.

During the journey to Naboo, Anakin did a lot of thinking on what Qui-Gon had said about the midi-chlorians and their interaction with life. From what he understood, Jedi were just people that had more midi-chlorians, or maybe people that understood midi-chlorians better. Did that mean Jedi understood life better?

If that was the case then he _certainly _wasn't meant to be a Jedi. But of course, that was just his train of thought at the moment.

Even if he didn't understand life, that didn't mean he couldn't appreciate its beauty. This was never truer as when he first set eyes on Naboo upon their decent. If Coruscant had left him wonderstruck, Naboo left him breathless. He had dreamed of other planets and other star systems before, but unfortunately he hadn't been able to picture them well in his mind considering he had never actually seen anything other than Tatooine. Everything on Naboo was so green and so vivid. It was like walking into a dream.

"Welcome to my home, Ani," Padmé said softly, sneaking up behind him. He turned to look at her smiling tenderly at him, although her face was ridden with sadness. He looked back out at the landscape. How could she be so sad in a place so beautiful?

But he could feel something menacing above them. Maybe this is what Qui-Gon meant about the midi-chlorians talking to him, giving him warnings of the bad things to come.

"Can you feel it too?" he asked quietly, hoping no one would overhear him. He looked up to the sky to specify his question.

Padmé just looked back at him, confused and frowning. "Feel what?" she asked.

He looked away from her. "Nothing."

She watched him for a moment and then moved wordlessly to join the others who were coming off the ship.

"She can't feel anything," a voice said softly, filling in Padmé's place only seconds after her departure. Anakin jumped, distracted from his thoughts and looked up to see Obi-Wan towering over him, stern look firmly on his face as usual.

"Only Jedi can, right?" Anakin asked, letting his eyes trail back to the girl. Obi-Wan followed his gaze for a moment before answering.

"Anyone who can touch the Force could feel it, not just the Jedi," he replied. "Remember the being that attacked Master Qui-Gon? He was no Jedi, but very in touch with the Force."

_So where do I fit in? _Anakin wondered, the question dancing on his lips and burning so powerfully within himself he could barely stand it. Obi-Wan sighed heavily.

"Be mindful of your feelings," Obi-Wan chastised him, startling Anakin. "I'll be completely honest with you: I have no idea where you fit in. Qui-Gon seems to have things better figured out, but I guess that's why he's the master and I'm the padawan."

Anakin sensed bitterness behind Obi-Wan's words but didn't comment. He was still blown away by the fact that Obi-Wan had essentially read his mind.

"You have a destiny before you," Obi-Wan said softly, gaining the tiniest bit of compassion. "As do we all. And in the end, no one can choose your destiny for you. It's entirely up to you."

The thought warmed Anakin's heart for a moment, and gave him back the hope he had lost as of late. "Thank you, Obi-Wan," he said politely, managing an ungraceful bow to mimic the other Jedi he had seen. Obi-Wan gave the briefest of smiles before leaving to join the others, and Anakin followed only paces behind.

_It's my destiny, _he reminded himself happily. _It's what I want to do with my life. No one can control it. Not even the Jedi. _He remembered those who had denied him training and frowned.

_It is _my_ destiny…right?_


End file.
